Response while viewing “180 Days: A Year in an American High School” (PBS) because I can’t just watch…

How does a kid deal with this…losing his mom to cancer, evicted the following week because dad has no job, so much loss…yet, he’s in school…and someone cares and talks with him…gosh, is there anything more rewarding than just talking with a kid like this and being there for him?

Test scores…always the shadow behind the teacher, behind the student…

She’s great! This senior who has dreams, goals of college, doing what some might say she couldn’t…because of the school’s test scores.

Yes, what is it about…what is the bigger picture…how does a parent with 9 kids have a dream for her children … and yet, she’s there, she’s listening, and she’s proud of her daughter who set her goals and is going to get a scholarship.

Picking colleges to apply to based on which will be least expensive or give her the most financial aid…so different from the experiences of the students at my school…what must it feel like to have choices defined by more external factors than internal factors, to feel that you have so little control over your life and your future? So many of the students at my school are so blessed, and so unaware.

Teachers concerned…realizing that their kids need a “dream-come-true” prom experience…the kids deserve it.

“Tough, visionary, reformer”…improved test scores, “yet still…” and always the “yet still…”

What’s worth fighting for? Kids, first. Kids who need more choices, more options. Kids who must be so weary fighting for themselves. Kids whose mom or dad or both fight for their kids to have futures by simply staying with them, and doing what they can.

300 kids dropping out an hour…why? Those kids are worth fighting for…how can I fight?

What’s most important in changing the lives of these students? Teachers discussing this question. Teachers agreeing that relationships are the most significant change agent in their kids’ lives. I agree.

Still, having to have a pep rally for a standardized test…”Pass the …” and yet still, the kids are … well, the cheerleaders were…but the majority of the kids look…bored and apathetic or nervous and worried…and aren’t both responses similar at the core…the “what if” fear that shadows their next move?

What a gorgeous smile…she looks up at the admissions counselor taking her on a group tour of the college…she’s hopeful…I’m prayerful…I want her to get there…

Wow, one-on-one meetings with an admissions counselor, that includes hearing on the spot whether or not they are accepted and hearing about scholarships awarded! These kids need that immediate hope for the year after graduation. The kids around them need to witness their joy and hope…to prompt hope in their own hearts about their own possibilities.

Spring break…principal tells staff to get rest and stay hopeful…there’s that word again…hope…foundation, fortification, future…all because of hope

And then the return after break and the countdown to the test…competitions, groups practicing together, teachers cheering and coaching and high-fiving and guiding and rewarding and nurturing a sense of community to create and sustain the kids’ conscious efforts to score well as a school, together, for the sake of all…yet really, teachers doing this for the kids…teachers who know their school’s future depends on these scores…yet still, I believe they care more that the kids learn because they see the skills for the test as skills for life…a life with hope.

Setting target goals…with the kids ‘in-the-achievement-gap” in mind…the kids who fall into the economic, racial divide that they see in their school…like the kid who has 72 absences…when she’s not in school, where is she?…where is her hope when she’s not in school?

But back to the gym…pep rally, cheer competition…that community spirit again that builds resiliency…school team wins…I’m in tears…resiliency through relationships…even cheerleading bring hope

Wait, the admissions counselor made a mistake…added the wrong numbers…full scholarship rescinded…mom, daughter…is there hope…there is no more money…can she score higher on the SAT to get more points for another scholarship…she was “hoping on that, but now…”

The arts…a “great refuge” in addition to opening doors for kids…absolutely…I love this school’s administration…they are hands on and minds in and all for the kids’ learning and experiencing…life, academics, and the arts…look at this admin mentoring the guitar teacher on pedagogy…effective teachers help kids to be effective learners…he wants to give these kids what they need…they are what is worth fighting for…and he’s doing it.

And then there he is again, no mom, sitting with his tunes…cousin shows up at school…legal guardian…withdrawing him from this school…from this community of hope…tears again…why…he’s worth fighting for…he’s fighting for himself…he’s “doing fine” where he is…someone’s fighting for him…but what can he do…legally there’s nothing they can do…they, his hope, now his possibly his past…and another loss in this kid’s life…3rd school in one year…where is his hope…how resilient will he be?

You “take ownership” of these kids…principal cares.that kids grow…doesn’t want any one of them to leave “half done”

Test day…moving…shadows linger…but ‘I achieve” shirts encourage…”You may begin…”…with hope? Testing ends…”You have 10 minutes to transition…” …transition back to school days now only shadowed by waiting for scores

And then the budget…and which of the faculty have hope of another year…who will be included and who will be cut…faces looking like the kids in the gym listening to the explanation of the test…same “what-if fear”…more shadows…

Engagement…it’s there in their eyes…they’re connecting…because he is connecting…he, who doesn’t know if he’ll be there…waiting for scores on a piece of paper written by a principal who mentors and clearly cares…yet still…evaluation time…budget shadows…this is reality everywhere now, even at my school

“Impact” score…does that equal hope?

Faculty lounge…they are mostly young…coincidence…where are the veteran teachers…where are the teachers who may be older…reflective of the budget shadow or reflective of a society that values youth or reflective of the veterans moved to better schools…I am a veteran…I would want to be in this school…shadows frighten…yet still…I hope

Love this counselor…reading email from college admissions counselor over the phone to mom, daughter…reconsidered…scholarship returned to student…community celebration…hope again

A mother’s tears…grateful that she’s alive to see her daughter succeed, to see her daughter get to college…mother’s joy, daughter’s hope…resiliency

Budget shadows…prom…senior celebrations…can all celebrate…will some be left in the shadow…community…staff, teachers, partners…creating prom experience on campus…because no one should be left in the shadow… hope…resiliency…relationship … my tears, again…and their smiles

Love it…kids are kids…”I don’t know how to slow dance” … felt the same way before my prom…ah, Angelou knew it…”we are more alike, my friend, than we are unalike” in our humanness when you bring us out of the shadows

Graduation…how many days left…who has hope? “3 classes short”…keep coming to school…take summer school…will he? Does he have enough hope to do it?

“Letter of non-reappointment”…she did so much…she cared…she mentored…she hoped… now we’re all crying…another loss…for her…for the kids…for the kids…for the kids…it was always about the kids…and resilient, she says “we will be fine” and she says let’s finish strong…”we have kids to graduate”…can’t give a score to relationships…can’t quantify how much hope you’ve given in a year…and who is giving her hope now…the kids, and still, the kids.

What’s worth fighting for? They will fight for their principal, their mentor…who are they fighting? Don’t know…he stayed in the shadows…but their voices are visible and they ask, and they demand, and they point, and they show, and they attempt to pull him into their world, their loss…but he stays invisible, unheard because he never spoke…one large shadow.

One person inside the school telling you can do it…can speak louder than a bunch of people outside telling you that you can’t do it…the kids

And again, the veterans…yes, we know we cost schools…we often aren’t even considered because we “cost too much”…some of us would take less than what the scales say we cost…just to give hope…that’s worth fighting for…to “sift through the stuff and get the kids committed to their education”…yet still, when the sources of hope are moved, are lost…stability is needed

Graduation…no shadows for this moment…hugs, celebration, community…results of resiliency and hope…and then, each one moves on…

…I will remember this view, this passion welling up within me, this hope I have for these kids and this community of educators, for those I’ve not seen, for the ones I’ll see tomorrow…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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